Fairy Tales and Monsters

I've never really thought about WHY I have a tendency to delve into the past and cling on to memories of certain people and the places associated with them. Over the years the places and the people who occupy my thoughts more often have changed of course, but the feeling's the same- that bittersweet 'I want to think about them but not' kind of attitude.
Call it winter blues if you will (that's what I name it myself), but there's something about early sunsets and wan evenings that really gets you down. A certain hostility- that's what it is, in that early darkness, something waiting to pounce on you as soon as the Sun retires to his chamber for the night. That something is nostalgia.
Loneliness- that's what it is. There are little demons hiding in the dark waiting to pounce on you and suck away at all your fortitude and scrap that appearance of togetherness that you wear. The 'face' that you so carefully wear dissolves in the face of their insidious onslaught. You're pining for company when you have none, and when some arrives, you wish for nothing but its departure. It's an ugly situation indeed.
But sometimes there's one particular person you long for, and they don't show up. Or worse, they turn up and rush away too soon, displaying none of that longing you hoped they would feel for your company- the long you felt for their's. No, it's not 'love' or anything- it's a matter of connection, or someone being there for you at a particular time when no one else was, catching you when you fell to set you back up on your feet, only you don't want to stand alone- you want to run after them and hold on tight to them. Why? You tell yourself it's a way of expressing gratitude, but deep inside, you know better.
You think that person is the only one who can fight away those winter demons when no one else can, precisely because he did so before. Or you think he did so.
What DO you do in times like this? Blabber away to a blank screen is one excellent recourse- it displays exactly the reaction you want, that of a sympathetic, silent listener. You could also find a human ear, but that's a bit more difficult.
Plus, it tires much more easily than a moniter does.
There is consolation of course- in all the stories, monsters are eventually defeated in the end. Unless all the fairy tales are lies and the heroes never existed, you have some hope. The monsters will die in the end.
There's just that horrible period of struggle in between that you have to live through.
But look at it this way- that's always the most interesting part of the book to read. Now maybe you'll feel some sympathy for those poor protagonists as they struggled through their Quests. Now maybe you'll nod in understanding as Harry tramps all over England searching for Horcruxes, not chafe at the interminable wait before he kills Voldemort and brings about the happy ending.
The body is in the struggle, not the victory.
How I have rambled in this entry. It's amazing.